Jordan Parker

In the deliberation of identity, perhaps one of the most overarching and impactful angles I would feel to explore would be our personal egos and how we allow them to manifest into our minds. I feel particularly strong for this topic as I find that, in the industry I primarily work in, egos can really be lead so far out of control that the real person underneath can be swamped in an ever-rising cascade of delusion.

What is an ego? There’s of course the immediate, negative connotation that is indelibly tied to the idea of an ego – the ‘show off’ or the over confident individual taking their place in the sun far earlier than they’ve perhaps deserved it. It definitely isn’t wrong to say that the ego can present itself in such a way, however I would maybe liken it to more of a mask that is subconsciously developed. There will be exceptions to every rule but I can’t imagine most people waking up in the morning and think about how they can belittle the people around them. Wouldn’t personally recognise it as a generally accepted way to start the day…

I was speaking to somebody about the idea of the ‘ego’ and why it’s something that we maintain unwittingly in our everyday lives and he described it as a form of entitlement. Like a child that doesn’t get what it wants. He used the example of road rage to which I had an immediate understanding of (for better or worse I suppose!). He made the link that because we generally believe that we are all decent individual drivers, we don’t deserve to be subjected to poor and dangerous driving standards and therefore we get annoyed when we witness it. He likened that response as our ego telling us that we deserve better. It was an example that really made me think y’know? I had only really ever considered an egotistical person as the ‘over the top’ archetype in regards to their self-aggrandising mentality but it’s allowed me to take a further seat back on the fence a witness for myself the implication that everyone has an ego to some degree and in which case does an ego inherently have to be a negative thing? Well, not everyone gets road rage of course but everyone can have those private moments when they feel they deserve better than what they have or see. Alternatively, maybe I’m facing something I don’t quite yet have the experience to fully comprehend and I’m addressing what I may currently, personally feel as a more negative than positive slant to our humanity and subsequently what resides in me as well. Suppose that’s why we (hopefully!) live for a decent while and have the time to figure it out…

I feel like I’m really growing up so much more, so much faster than I ever have before. With a more adult and complex mind, I feel liberated to challenge not only what I deem to be personally wrong in this world, but also take a look sincerely inwards, without a deflecting lens and by recognising the effect of our hard-wired ego, and be critical of what I have perhaps assumed to be true growing up. I can only be as human and complete as I allow myself to be so, before I die, I will afford myself the honour to improve and grow in this life of mine.